Bridges for Youth

This is child abuse awareness month and probably just about everybody has heard that Greene county has a big problem in this area.   I believe the statistic is 62 out of 1000 in Greene county are victims of child abuse and neglect.  I’m sure anybody who hears this has to be appalled.  There are like 23,000 students just in the Springfield Public school system alone, so thats about 1400 kids impacted right there.  This doesn’t even include all the kids that are not school age.  I heard on a radio talk show today that a large segment of the child abuse and neglect reports are for kids ages 6 and under, so this is a mountain of a problem.  Kids are crying out for help, but who will hear them if there is no one around they feel they can trust to report it to. 

Child abuse and neglect are difficult to deal with, especially when you are on the frontlines. We are in a place that we have voluntarily put ourselves, because we are passionate about helping kids and their families.  Compassion and involvement in the needs and hurts of kids illuminates the need for caring intervention through reporting, and paves the way to restored relationships and stronger families.  For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. 

I say often that the Bridges For Youth Centers are on the front lines and in the trenches as we work with kids.   This year alone we are serving 969 registered kids, ages 6-18. These types of numbers always reminds me of the fishes and loaves incident in the Bible.  Two loaves of bread and five fish to feed 5000.  Bridges is on the front lines with our 2 loaves and 5 fish, trusting in God and standing amazed at how He provides to fill the needs of kids, day after day. It should be no surprise that a large segment of these kids are victims of child abuse and neglect.   We have had dozens of  instances down through the years when rape, neglect, physical abuse have been shared with us by kids.   It never gets easier to deal with, and it always leaves a sick feeling in your gut.  Sin is like that. The sin really does make you feel sicker when its close to home though.  Child abuse and neglect is present right among the kids you want to love and protect. Its the kid you played pool with or watched a movie with just last week.  Or its the kids who proudly told you they memorized the Bible verse today. And many times its the kids who has suddenly changed due to abuse. All of a sudden the childish prankster is gone and it seems as though someone has stolen their soul.

There are a few in the Springfield and Marshfield communities who know the value of having the Bridges for Youth centers and our caring staff available to kids. Our prayer is that more people will discover us and understand that we need and value their support.

 I love pictures of Jesus surrounded by children, because that is real to me. Now, we must be Christ like and surround ourselves with children we can embrace and love through the pains of child abuse, neglect, and poverty.

Pastor Steve Hare

     Once upon a time in the make believe town of Uveoffendedmeville there was always someone protesting.  The concierege at the hotel I was staying in had a long list of local protests that I could attend on the morrow. 

The highlight of Saturdays protests was just a few blocks away, where a group of churchy folks wanted to put in a homeless shelter and kitchen. Smaller protests were organized in other parts of Uveoffendedmeville, and it really didn’t matter who you were, you could find something to shout about.

A small group would be protesting outside of city hall on Saturday concerning the poor condition of the streets and the canyon sized pot holes.  As I understand it, there had been quite an uproar lately about the closing of a local factory, so several of the former workers and local citizens were planning a vehement protest.

As I settled down in my room that night I had a dozen or so protests that were mulling around in my mind.   I was intent on making a difference and that was the whole idea of this weekend trip to Uveoffendedmeville. “Where?” I asked myself, “Can I protest and manifest a positive change in this community.”  Sleep came to me quickly as I wrestled with the opportunities that were before me.

 Although I had the deluxe suite and had paid out the big bucks to assure a good nights sleep, a night full of contrasting images was what filled my mind and caused me to toss and turn. It was then that the dreamscapes began to take shape, transporting  me into another dimension that revealed hurt, need and discouragement.  

My dream was a journey and it was fueled by thoughts of the protests I had been informed about. I would never hold an actual protest sign in my dream, for as I drew near I was pushed near to the object of the protest itself.    Oblivious to the people and objects of each protest, I was somehow cloaked, being able to observe and listen to the conversations from the other side.

I was struck and in awe as I listened into the conversation of a mom and her two children.  The mom was doing the best she could to make light of their situation, as they lived in their car at the edge of the city park.  How, I do not know, but I could hear her thoughts as she wondered how she would mask her homelessness and keep her job at a local restaurant.   She was troubled, for there was no where to leave her two young children while she worked and even more concerned that someone would find out and they would be taken away. 

Wisked away in the dream,  I could visibly see a man behind a desk, and heard the incessant interruptions of the phone ringing. This was the mayor of Uveoffendedmeville and the level of his frustration was obvious to me. The public was not aware of it, but this man had a servants heart.  Even now, hours after the usual 9-5 city hall hours, he was attending to the community he had served for 17 years.   Some were saying that the city needed a new leader and each new day brought new complaints about the way the city was run and how bad things had gotten.  The mayor felt as though he did not have a friend in the world and was taking inventory of the times anyone had shown their appreciation. Even the local factory closing down was something that he was having to weather as the criticisms continued to flow in.

As I awoke my compassions were fixed on remedying the needs in the community of Uveoffendedmeville and not on protesting the problems. My dreams had brought to light the need for community support for the homeless shelter, for the mom and her kids as well as a  coming together of the community and the mayor to resolve city problems, rather than just protesting them.

I think it is wise to make a difference by expressing the love of Christ Jesus into the needs  at hand.  We will have our disputes and our disagreements, it is sure, but to love is to obey God. To love is to show compassion for the needs of others, putting our protests aside and ministering for the common good.

This particular blog is a make believe town, who’s expressions of protest may well show up at any time or place in our daily lives.   Sometimes unfair things can make me very angry and my first thought is to protest, to express my dissatisfaction, to ramble . These feelings have become more and more short lived in recent years as I realize the fragility and the unknown length of my stay on this earth.  So, as the Bible says I try to labor in love, so that my treasure may be laid up in heaven where moth and rust cannot destroy.  

 Onward,   Pastor Steve Hare 

Admiration, respect and honor are not responses that you want to count on drawing your strength from  or depend on, when you are working with at-risk kids.   Yesterday, I walked into a Bridges center to announce that a former pro football player was coming to visit the next day.  You would think the kids would be excited and pay close attention, but that was not the case.   The noise level and chatter rose to a level were they could no longer hear anything I was saying.  If the kids had tomatoes and rotten fruit, I felt like they would probably be throwing them at me.  It felt like I had just told them that summer vacation was cancelled, that there would be no recess, or that we were taking all their youth center games away.  No, I was telling  them some really cool news, a former pro football player was coming to visit.  The whole encounter lasted about 30 seconds and I walked out with my head down, my feelings  hurt and in disbelief at the unexpected response.

There is no one among the staff at Bridges For Youth who has not experienced the hurt feeling dilemna of youth ministry. This is undoubtedly the reason that statistics show that youth workers often experience burnout very early on, and are not able to stay the course for very long. As Christian staff we trust in God to fuel our journey, and we believe that you have to consistently turn to God, so that you can weather the storm.

Being alone in a youth center with even a couple of kids is a recipe for getting your feelings hurt. In 1998 and 1999, I was in just such a situation as the lone staff member at the National Bridges For Youth center.   The number of kids wasn’t overwhelming at the time, as I often had only two of three kids that I would be shepherding. It was a time when God was educating me about at risk kids and I was learning on the job. Save the presence of God I would have perished back then and  my existence and mission would have faded into oblivion. 

The two or three kids in attendance back then would divide and conquer Pastor Steve. While I was attending to one’s needs another would turn all the lights out at the breaker box-that’s why it has a lock on it to this day. They would circle the building, going out the front door and coming through the back.  Frequently they would be annoyed by my attempts to control them and they would leave stating, “They would never come back again!”.   In a short time they would return, smiles on their faces, with another clever childish prank to play on me-that is why kids are not allowed to leave and return the same day anymore.  Basically, my feelings were getting hurt right and left just about eight years ago.   It was  staying on the front lines and coming back day after day that eventually showed the kids that I loved and cared about them.

One particular incident at National stands out, that left me feeling particularly upset. We had a small snack bar at the Bridges center with candy bars and a variety of candy. Two of the kids devised a plan, distracted me and took the snack bar money. I discovered the money was missing but certainly couldn’t prove who took it. The incident left me shaking my head and I felt like someone had just beaten me for no apparent reason. The next two days at the youth center my enthusiasm had waned and my disappointment showed. God renewed me on the third day after the incident, when two boys came to the front door, handed me the money they had stolen and expresed their heartfelt apologies. I still remember the sincere expression on the boys faces, and the remorse for what they had done.

As I verse the memories of my feelings getting hurt there are a flood of memories. Putting yourself in the uncomfortable position of getting your feelings hurt seems to be the inevitable price to have victory in dealing with kids and in building nurturing relationships. God is in control!

“And let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.” Galatians 6:9-10

Pastor Steve  (When I am weak, then I am strong)

     The old plucking of flower petals, in the  fashion of, “they love me, they love me not” is becoming all to familiar these days.    I think my petal plucking session goes more like me asking God, “Will we have money today, or will we have money today not?”          

    Sometimes I understand why we run out of money and have to trust in God for days before the provision comes in and then many other times I just grow frustrated with having to deal with the relevation that the funds are all gone again at Bridges For Youth. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch.

     Trusting in God for your daily needs puts you into some strange conversations with the Almighty.  All to many times large needs have been met at the Bridges centers, only to face the next day with another need raising its dinosauric head.  You cry out to God and say in without a thought, “Lord, this stuff is impossible!”  Without even realizing, you have told God that you cannot fix this impossible challenge, in fact, you don’t even have the courage or strength to face it.   Wow, did you catch that, you just told God you couldn’t do it without Him.   

     I used to be so filled with energy, believing I could change the world.   I used to dream big colossal dreams and work my body to the extreme to succeed.  Self achievement was something I fell for hook, line and sinker.  I literally have boxes of certificates of achievement and certificates of memberships in professional and fraternal organizations.    None of these things mean anything when you are faced with God sized needs that you cannot fix.    

       Thousands of dollars in  recurring needs in working with kids is nothing I can take care of, so I have to have God’s intervention, and I have to have his presence. Still, the confusion, the understanding of God’s ways, are far beyond this painter/pastor.  I think being humbled is most likely the only way you can begin to understand God’s ways.        

Honestly though, being humbled is not a pleasant experience. The flesh side of me wants an easier remedy to the needs. “Why?”, I ask God, ” “Couldn’t you move in one of your wealthy saints hearts and provide a deliverance for several months of financial needs?”   The answer is that God certainly could do that, but again we don’t understand His ways or His timing, so its back to trusting in God, one day at a time.

“Will we have money today?, or will we have money today not?” applies to our journey today at Bridges For Youth. Today the answer was, “You will not have money today”. The accounts are empty that hold our earthly provision for ministry, so we will pose the question again to God tomorrow, trusting that the provision will arrive as it always has, in His perfect timing.

 God bless all, Pastor Steve

I’m not sure why, but suddenly God has shown me that the quick sand of ministry is going to swallow us up if we don’t make prayer a priority. Don’t get me wrong, “We Pray!”, it’s just that I feel God is moving us to a whole other level.

We have  a number of dedicated prayer partners who have covered us for several years now.  I’m feeling now like we need that same covering every hour and minute of every day.   Continuous and fervent prayer, inside the ministry and out.  Bridges is after all fighting a real battle on the front lines. Our centers, staff and kids are surrounded by combatants from the evil one.   This battle will definitely be won or lost in prayer.   We are pouring over resource material now on prayer and developing a prayer partner ministry for our youth centers.  I really like “Partners in Prayer” by John Maxwell.

 The concept of prayer walking is something I have been aware of, but have not practiced to this point.    In my research I was led to an organization called “the Prayer Closet Ministries Inc”.  I can’t believe we have never done this before. Knowing the power of prayer and the power of praying God’s Word, this could have very fruitful results in the neighborhoods and communities where we currently minister and in those places that God leads us in the future.   Even if we do not end up starting a Bridges for Youth Center in an area we prayer walk, we can be sure that there will be results that have eternal implications.

Teaching kids to give praise, thanks and petitions to God for themselves and others has always been a passion of mine.  I believe kids praying with that childlike faith is going to move mountains in our community.  Kids talking to God. Yeah!

 Who’s with me? 

I would say some of our most successful mentors are staff who still have those innocent childlike qualities, but also have the elements of maturity and responsiblility that adults have.  When was the last time as an adult that you stomped in a mud puddle. Man that is really fun.   Admittedly I only do it occasionally, and then when I have my dirty painting clothes on.   Say, when is the last time you grabbed a dandelion and blew all the seeds all over the yard. How long has it been since you gave a name to a stuffed animal or dreamed about going on an adventure?   This is the stuff that kids are made of.   This is a quality I look for in mentors.

 A second equally important quality is knowing heartache, the pain of loss, and the pain of being without.  Some of our staff have known the pains that many of the kids they minister to are dealing with.  It is really important to be able to identify with some of the things kids are going through, even if you haven’t gone through it. 

 Steve’s perfect shepherd for kids is a person who has a servants heart, believes that Jesus is their Savior and hope, expresses a childlike quality-understanding that its important for kids to be kids, and listens, responds and admonishes kids like Jesus would.    

 Pastor Steve, A kid at heart