Bridges for Youth

Admiration, respect and honor are not responses that you want to count on drawing your strength from  or depend on, when you are working with at-risk kids.   Yesterday, I walked into a Bridges center to announce that a former pro football player was coming to visit the next day.  You would think the kids would be excited and pay close attention, but that was not the case.   The noise level and chatter rose to a level were they could no longer hear anything I was saying.  If the kids had tomatoes and rotten fruit, I felt like they would probably be throwing them at me.  It felt like I had just told them that summer vacation was cancelled, that there would be no recess, or that we were taking all their youth center games away.  No, I was telling  them some really cool news, a former pro football player was coming to visit.  The whole encounter lasted about 30 seconds and I walked out with my head down, my feelings  hurt and in disbelief at the unexpected response.

There is no one among the staff at Bridges For Youth who has not experienced the hurt feeling dilemna of youth ministry. This is undoubtedly the reason that statistics show that youth workers often experience burnout very early on, and are not able to stay the course for very long. As Christian staff we trust in God to fuel our journey, and we believe that you have to consistently turn to God, so that you can weather the storm.

Being alone in a youth center with even a couple of kids is a recipe for getting your feelings hurt. In 1998 and 1999, I was in just such a situation as the lone staff member at the National Bridges For Youth center.   The number of kids wasn’t overwhelming at the time, as I often had only two of three kids that I would be shepherding. It was a time when God was educating me about at risk kids and I was learning on the job. Save the presence of God I would have perished back then and  my existence and mission would have faded into oblivion. 

The two or three kids in attendance back then would divide and conquer Pastor Steve. While I was attending to one’s needs another would turn all the lights out at the breaker box-that’s why it has a lock on it to this day. They would circle the building, going out the front door and coming through the back.  Frequently they would be annoyed by my attempts to control them and they would leave stating, “They would never come back again!”.   In a short time they would return, smiles on their faces, with another clever childish prank to play on me-that is why kids are not allowed to leave and return the same day anymore.  Basically, my feelings were getting hurt right and left just about eight years ago.   It was  staying on the front lines and coming back day after day that eventually showed the kids that I loved and cared about them.

One particular incident at National stands out, that left me feeling particularly upset. We had a small snack bar at the Bridges center with candy bars and a variety of candy. Two of the kids devised a plan, distracted me and took the snack bar money. I discovered the money was missing but certainly couldn’t prove who took it. The incident left me shaking my head and I felt like someone had just beaten me for no apparent reason. The next two days at the youth center my enthusiasm had waned and my disappointment showed. God renewed me on the third day after the incident, when two boys came to the front door, handed me the money they had stolen and expresed their heartfelt apologies. I still remember the sincere expression on the boys faces, and the remorse for what they had done.

As I verse the memories of my feelings getting hurt there are a flood of memories. Putting yourself in the uncomfortable position of getting your feelings hurt seems to be the inevitable price to have victory in dealing with kids and in building nurturing relationships. God is in control!

“And let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.” Galatians 6:9-10

Pastor Steve  (When I am weak, then I am strong)