Bridges for Youth

Something has always seemed strange to me as a Pastor.  There are a quantity and diversity of needs that Billy and Susan present as you encounter them each day at a Bridges for Youth center.   Approaching these needs as a caring adult, you want to fix and repair all the needs.   Jesus would not be wanting any of these little ones to suffer and neither did we. Anyhow, in the midst of all the problems that kids carry with them, we discover it is impossible  to check very many of their needs off of a list.

Billy is eight years old and has a voice that is like a roaring lion. His voice never lowers but resounds with a thundering quality that demands attention.   It takes a great deal of patience to communicate with Billy without getting into a shouting match.  There is no argument here between the adult mentor and Billy, only  an intensive encounter so that Billy can determine how far you are willing to go in reaching out to him.    Billy is wondering, “Is this adult just like all the others?”, and “Will he abandon me also?, just like all the other adults in my life.” Fatigue starts to show on the adult mentor, but strangely, to Billy anyway, this adult is strangely staying the course. Billy will not admit it until months later, but this adult mentor has become a strong influence and encouragement in his life.   Problems and challenges that Billy faced were constantly being communicated to staff, and it had occurred to Billy more than once that they were like family to him.   Billy had problems and needs that staff were able to remedy almost immediately by having a nurturing relationship with him, and then there were those other problems that had to be surrendered to God.   Not unlike hundreds of other kids in the area, Billy’s father was not a part of his life, and he was being raised by his mother.    Billy had a great mom, but she couldn’t replace the abandonment and hurt of a dad who apparently wanted nothing to do with Billy or his two sisters. Few worked harder than Billy’s mom to provide, but often it just wasn’t enough and the utilities would be cut off or they would get way behind on rent. As adult mentors and Christians we discover that we help in these situations by surrendering the impossible to God, and then we watch as God responds to our cries for help.

Susan was so quiet and shy when we met her that it took a lot of  time to get her to open up. A 12 year old, Susan had what I would say was a very difficult life. You could see in her eyes what she was thinking as she looked into the adult mentors eyes, “Can I trust this person with my hurt?”. It would be two months later before Susan had the confidence to share, and then the trust and healing started to show after that. There were some very hard truths that were hidden in the recesses of Susan’s heart.    The recurring thoughts of worthlessness were triggered by rememberances of an abusive father who was no longer in her life.  The undignified assault on her was enlarged by a mother who did not care about her and who was in jail for drug use. Susan was now living with a relative, and was the only option outside of foster care. Her visits to the youth center and talks with the adult mentor became cherished moments in her day.   Susan had a chance to dialogue with a favorite staff member about the days events, and the love that she received would give her renewed hope.  Always greeted with a hug when she arrived, Susan had a sense that these people were like Jesus to her.  Susan would become talkative and comfortable at Bridges after a few months. Susan’s  severed relationships with both her mom and dad continued to stir hurtful feelings. The harsh  reality of what had happened to Susan were not lost in the daily conversations with Bridges staff. Impossible for a human to fix or repair we surrender Susan’s troubles to God.   God will be attentive to Susan’s cries for healing and there will be a victory.

These above are not real kids, but real problems that the kids we see deal with each day.    The stories are a reflection of how a simple little youth center with a loving, caring staff can make a positive impact on kids.  All this, not through our own strength, but through a surrendering to God and His omnipotence and love for His children.

 Pastor Steve Hare

The first Bridges For Youth center opened in October of 1998, with very little fanfare and only a couple of kids.    There were several days over the first few months of operations when no kids showed up at all. Everyday, when I went to the youth center I wondered what God had in store today.   Since there were only one or two kids at the time, I really turned my attention to why God had brought these kids today.   I starting really listening to the kids.  It was then that I discovered that these kids were hurting.  It was a hurt that you couldn’t see if you just saw them once a week or every now and then.  Ongoing daily relationships with kids or adults reveals inner feelings that are not on the surface.

There is a reason that many of the kids we see at Bridges For Youth are angry.  The frowns and anguish are fueled by circumstances and bad decisions that are usually made by someone else. The absence of fathers and mothers is a key element in the abandonment issues that many kids face.  The incidence of a mom or dad in prison is common among the poor.  Dealing with having an absent father or mother who you may have never known or may never see again is a common thing that kids deal with. Everywhere I look I see kids being abandoned by every segment of society.

Even the church has victimized kids and left them feeling abandoned. Ministries come to neighborhoods doing special events and telling the kids how much Jesus loves them, counting up the number of kids who accept Christ, and then move on to the next outreach and to the next group of kids. If we are going to tell them about Jesus, shouldn’t we also be showing them about Jesus through our love.  Kids know the real deal when they see it. People are quick to say how much they love at-risk kids and even say they will never leave them. I have had only a couple people demonstrate that they actually loved the kids this much.  They have continued to maintain relationships with kids over the years. The power of loving kids this much has unimaginable potential in building up and discipling the next generation of church leaders. Like I said, they know the real deal when they see it, and even though a person who is ministering to a kid makes mistakes, they know inside that you care about them and will continue to be there for them. The abandonment issue is the reason we only create  a Bridges center for the long haul.  We won’t bend and we won’t shake, and we won’t water down our faith. Every Bridges center we open, we plan to keep ministering to kids in, until the Lord comes back.

We have had 50-60 outstanding Bridges staff over the last 7 years and in the last couple of years I have just begun to understand about how abandoned kids really feel.  If it weren’t enough that so many kids are left abandoned and feeling worthless, the very people who have shown that they love them day after day, will eventually move on and the kids will never hear from them again. I absolutely cringe  when our staff members graduate from college or get married,  or go on to other things, because the fact is the kids will probably never hear from them again. Still, the memories of time spent with solid Christian mentors is one of the strongest influences a kid can have.

Abandonment of kids,  is just a harsh reality, but I just wish people would  take their involvement in kids lives a little more seriously. These are precious souls we are dealing with.  More people, who will not leave,  need to be willing to  just come and spend a little quality time volunteering at our centers, and building life long relationships with kids.     

Jesus never leaves us or forsakes us. That is the Good News!  Pastor Steve